Everyone Needs a Place to Get Away

Friday, January 29, 2010

The Truth Hurts

Angel’s shining sapphire tears trickled down her cheeks from her brown auburn eyes, leaving a tear-stained face, after the teardrops left her face falling to the ground. Sobs broke through her chest, and she felt like she couldn't breathe. She never felt so hurt and damaged in her life before. Her pride so smashed, as well as her heart. Angel leaned against the wall, her head in her hands as she slowly dropped to the ground, as she continuously sobbed in separate intervals.

Her sparkling headband sewed with sequins had managed to fall off in the duration. It fell near her closet, in a tangle. Her entire attire consisting of a red sweater dress and black tights along with her black boots were in wrinkles, as though she had been in them for a long time. Her hair clung limply to her side, and in the light, her hair no longer held its usual glow; instead it was dead, as though it had fought a battle with something and was defeated. She leaned her head against the wall as thoughts ran across her mind, and she knew, she had been avoiding them from the start.

Her eyes closed and then reopened painfully. Yin never loved her from the start. From the moment, she admitted she had feelings for him, he never liked her; instead only saw it as entertainment to pass time. It was a one-sided love this whole time. Why couldn’t she accept the truth sooner? Why did she have to fall for such a immature jerk? He wasn't ready to date or commit to anything. Rather he had just been using her. And she just didn’t want to accept the truth, because it was ugly. It was ugly to hear, disgusting to know, because it wounded her pride, her soul, but mostly her heart.

She felt angry at herself, but also at him. He had played her, and she, being stupidly naive and hopeful, had fell into his alluring trap. She had too many false hopes, and he gave too many misunderstandings to make her think so.

She wished he was like other guys, who would bluntly tell her if anything was wrong. But he wasn't. He was different. He didn't trust her. Even through there were times when he did and said it aloud, in truth he held that tiny doubt in what she said. If there were any problems, or anything he was offended by, he wouldn't complained out loud, until pressured into. Instead they depended on their same-sex peers for advice; he went to the guys, while she went to the girls.

Everyone had told her, that he would never be committed to her. It was impossible due to his nature. But there were a few things she never expected, until time passed, such as being talked about behind her back, negatively. She never realized how he had felt, about her being near him. And after hearing what he had told others behind her back, she snapped. She didn't want to see him, she didn't want to think about him anymore. Whenever she was near him, part of her felt like running away while the other one wanted to stay by her side. The part of her that still liked him, wished intensely that he would tell her straight out. While the other part, hated him. As her emotions battled out, it broke her down. Which was what she was in right now, a meltdown.

Her eyes slowly closed and she wished, for time to pass, for her to never have fell for him.

One last lone tear trickled down her left side of her face, falling and then shattered before disappearing into the ground. And just like when that drop disappear, she felt as if her heart shattered into a million pieces.

And she didn't know what to do. She really didn't know what to think anymore.